What if my spouse and I differ on burial vs. cremation?

This article was written by LifeAdmin, on December 6, 2016

couple holding hands in front of urnIt’s not uncommon for spouses to disagree on how they want their final wishes to be met. My husband and I have had many conversations on the subject and while I want to be buried in a tree pod, my husband wants a traditional burial. He wants a unique funeral service involving him being propped up with his guitar on display, but more on that later. We came to the decision that whomever lived longer would get to decide, but that decision is in jest. So, what to do?

Have the Facts

Deciding on your final wishes is a personal decision and it’s key to understand the thoughts surrounding your spouse’s decision. Sometimes the reason behind their decision is because they have incorrect information. For example, many equate cremation to a direct cremation, instead of realizing that you can also have a funeral, memorial, etc. The truth is that you can be embalmed, have a viewing, funeral service, AND be cremated afterward. If you have questions on your options, the best source is to talk to your local funeral director. Cremation has risen in popularity in recent year and comes with its own list of pros and cons.

When You Still Disagree

While you may not like it, compromise is critical to being at peace with your final plans. If your spouse wants a traditional burial with no funeral service, perhaps you can begin the discussion about a small and intimate memorial service. If you are in favor of direct cremation, open up to the possibility of a tailored funeral service to accommodate both you and your spouse’s wishes. Try to understand their thoughts and emotions that surround a future day where they will be devastated and anchored in grief.

Pre-Arrange Your Wishes

The best way to make sure that your wishes are carried out is to pre-arrange with your preferred funeral home. You can decide on every detail ahead of time together so that when the dreaded day comes, your spouse can focus on processing their grief instead of the program art. You can choose to pay for it all at once or get a funeral insurance policy with affordable rates for your family through a preneed insurance agent. The day that you’re overwhelmed with loss is not the day to worry about the finances behind supporting your loved one’s final wishes. Pre-arrange your funeral and take the financial burden away from your spouse, family, and friends.

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